The first ever Kids Incorporated sound file database!
Here is where the sound files for all Kids Incorporated episodes will be, organized by season.
Season 3 (1986)
Stacy
has a great answer…but it’s to the wrong question.
Ryan’s idea to
“think positively” does not have the desired effect.
It’s fun to goof
on Ryan…
because
sometimes you simply cannot understand a word he says.
Stacy could be on her
way to OZ.
Riley’s
joke needs some help from the Wizard.
“This
isn’t Toto, Kansas!…this isn’t Topeka, Kansas!…this isn’t
working!”
Naturally,
she wins
Jeez, gag me
with the moral, why don’t you?
Riley claims to
be out of everything so he can get rid of the kids
…but his
excuse doesn’t hold water.
He has an
unusual attachment to a textbook.
Stacy is a hologram.
Riley’s sudden
departure
Stacy can’t
do math, and she doesn’t want to get rid of her apples (hmm, maybe she should have
gotten the part of the enchanted tree).
Gee, I wonder
why Riley didn’t wake up…
Riley’s
how-to on working includes a bit on “sleeping on the job”.
The
“Two Hearts” poem (LONG)
Gloria has the
reason for Riley’s behavior,
but
the kids have compiled their own reasoning (very long!).
“Maybe
you’re all losing your miiinds…"
The kids finally
catch lovelorn agent Riley.
Unfortunately,
they are all wrong.
Riley has been
going to night school.
Uh, I would not
take her up on that, Riley.
“I take it
back – you’re nuts, too.”
Riley’s
fantastic new invention that is sure to revolutionize…yeah, whatever.
Renee’s
too far out in space to hear the other kids.
Introducing Jules
Stacy is really
confused about what Renee’s going through.
Renee’s been
repeating herself, says Stacy.
Everyone is
finally on the same page as Renee’s notebook (very long!).
“He loves
me, he loves me not…hi, guys…”
Stacy and
The Kid know exactly what to do with this news.
Gloria reveals
that she, too, had her own add-o-lessons.
Renee
doesn’t seem to like the moral of today’s episode.
Kid thinks
Riley’s inventions require extra protection.
The definition of
“a little silly”.
Renee is
ready to go...hide!
The entire
play-by-play of Renee’s dating game.
“The suspense is
killing me!”
Shy and
shyer…what a cute couple…
Gloria’s
choice of refreshment leaves everyone puzzled
the Three D’s
brought on by too
many adjustments in Gloria’s life
but she’s not that
desperate!
Everyone’s
“usual”
sorry, guys – no
breaks on the shakes
Gloria
keeps it fair while she’s on duty
“My banana
split is leaking, Gloria!”
it’s a
breeze to Gloria, but to Riley?
C’mon, no place
can be that clean!
She’s
learned the "soda" part…now Gloria’s working on the "jerk"
The rest of the kids
aren’t helping as Gloria spirals into a breakdown
Help Wanted:
Moral
Gloria realizes
she’s not Superwoman…yet.
Stacy
thinks Riley has thrown in a free gift with their order
Introducing
our guest star
John’s matador story
seems to be a load of bull
He pulls quite a snow
job on the kids
Ryan begins to
get skeptical
The truth is out
– Rounder doesn’t get around
John’s next
story is a very sad one
John finally
gets it
Riley’s
latest inventions have been of the mad scientist variety
Introducing Sam
Praise for Riley?
Couldn’t be our Riley…
Sam sets the bar really
high
The scam begins
Ryan has it all
figured out already
He’s ready to
take on Sam
one of
Riley’s few practical inventions, the Pizza Flipper (with sound effects)
Ryan can’t
resist a few quips
He’s pretty
good at it, too
the intro to
“That’s What Friends are For”
Reginald von
Ryan pulls a scam of his own (VERY LONG!)
Sam makes a successful
swindle
so does Ryan
Riley tries some
positive thinking with extra malt glasses
the return of
Samantha
Samantha brings her own
bookmobile with her
today’s
culture clash brought to you by Shakespeare
nobody is delighted at
Samantha’s inspired idea
Kid is really not
happy with the costuming
Samantha is
oblivious to his jibes
“But
soft…who broke the window?”
Samantha even speaks
Shakespearean when she’s upset
The root of the
problem
How many of the
Bard’s works can Samantha cram into 30 seconds?
Kid has his own private
definition of “great”
You knew there had
to be at least one hat joke
see – Kid
DOES think of the rest of the band…as his backup
Now playing in theaters
everywhere – The Ego that ate Chicago!
Kid reminds Ryan of
Mozart
but not for the reason Kid
chooses
“Oh
yes…do!”
What nationality
is Ryan doing?? Is that supposed to be Italian?
Kid Mozart charming the
ladies
“Wolfie’s”
dramatic laugh
Flattery will get
you nowhere – especially if you’re giving it to yourself
“Come-a back-a
tomorrow…”
Oh, God, Ryan, shut
up!!!
Kid’s an
egotistical genius
the moral of
the episode, translated back into English
The scoop on Renee
and Stacy’s birthdays
The plot devices have
arrived, courtesy of Grandma
The Perfect
Gift
Conveniently,
both girls are broke.
Renee mopes about no
present for Stacy
Stacy mopes about no
present for Renee
Again, everyone has
the same idea
Two plots collide
The other kids
commiserate
“I think you
mean oh, sisters!”
The girls give
each other the gifts
This plot is actually
borrowed from an old story (long)
And we get the
perfect ending…
Renee simply
can’t believe The Kid is studying
Stacy got mad once
The real reason Kid
is studying like mad
Brendan Roberts
returns!
His latest offer
isn’t very educated
Kid seems tempted by
Brendan’s deal
Maybe Kid has ADD
Here come the Western
accents…some better than others…(long)
More accents, and
our plot point (long)
Ain’t no
sheriff in the West who can catch Kid the Kid
Kid the Kid and
Wild Brendan meet in the jail cell
Wild Brendan’s
moneymaking offer
Miz Gloria stops
by with a little lesson
Too late
– here comes the ball and chain
Kid tells Brendan
off
The rest of the kids
help
they have no idea
what Kid was talking about, though
You’re never gonna
guess…
Everyone has
different ideas for the new baby’s name
Kid’s is
the best one of all
Stacy isn’t
happy about being promoted
Gloria gives us our
first hint as to which way the episode’s going
Riley helps
Welcome to
Never-Never Land
There’s just
gotta be a villain
and his equally goofy
sidekick
It’s a nice
place to visit, but the kids want to leave
Everyone has
their own reasons for wanting to grow up
Moral-moral
time…
The other kids
have no clue what Stacy’s talking about
until they start
seeing things
The kids are
arguing over why this is the worst episode
just kidding –
they are fighting about all sorts of band matters
and I mean REALLY
fighting
Someone plays a
mean sax…but it isn’t The Kid
So, who is it?
No, Stacy, he sure
ain’t Santa Claus
It’s EVIL!-ahem,
I mean Mr. Angel
Mr. Blue
Jumpsuit Guy, what’s your line?
giving rhyming
lessons, and it sure is fine! (No it’s not…HELP!!)
he’s
also a bit full of it
Great! You made
Ryan play saxophone…but that was Kid’s job…
Don’t
encourage him, Gloria!
Mr. Angel
sends for a bit of holy help
then he flies
the coop before any parents can completely freak out
NO, RENEE!!
DON’T DO IT!!! DON’T RHYME WITH HIM!!
the evidence
conveniently disappears…but the damage has been done
The kids show how
well they can read a flyer for a clown contest
Stacy already
has a headstart on the competition
The kids meet Henry
the Clown
Riley does his best
to get Stacy to enter the contest
wanna know why he
calls it Strawberry Surprise?
Henry the Clown
breaks his silence
He takes his turn
at the moral and offers his assistance
Henry tells
Stacy the story of the handicapped clown (HUGE!)
the contest begins
Gee, I wonder who
could have won?
Our clown is
really Henry Holden, motivational speaker
Kids Inc is rocking in
the New Year
Riley brings some bad
news
the big blowout is
canceled
the kids are pretty
peeved
there is no
bright side to Riley’s bad inventions
but there IS a
list of KI resolutions
Ryan’s
resolution
Renee’s
resolution…should have been to blow her nose! She was almost incomprehensible! (SUPER
LONG!)
The Kid’s
resolution is no surprise to anyone
Gloria’s
resolution
Stacy’s
resolution
You
didn’t think this special would be without a moral, did you? (HUGE, VERY SUPER LONG
FILE!)
The kids resolve
to support Riley – and scare the crap out of him by running screaming at him?
Riley gets an apology
He finds them a
new party spot
The New Year’s
Eve countdown
Season 4 (1987)
The kids explain that Gloria is gone and make perspiration jokes
Kid arrives with the mail, which features a letter from Gloria and our backstory
There’s also a bonus note from somebody they should have avoided.
Auditions bring out all sorts of people – but no swimsuits (sorry, Riley)
Our celebrity claims to be fully equipped and is still anonymously impressive
A cute little someone’s enthusiasm for auditioning runneth over…oh, wait, that was her malt. (I edited out the blank spaces to make it shorter)
She continues to astound the kids with her spilling skills.
Thank goodness for our mysterious musician who is now “on his way”
Renee finds our little accident prone girl and inquires as to why she’s so nervous.
Connie performs her song and Kids Inc. accepts her into the fold…
…just as Rockin’ Rich finally arrives.
Unfortunately, he seems to be taking over.
The kids aren’t sure what to make of him.
Rich doesn’t appear to be as rockin’ as he claimed.
The kids don’t find him quite that stellar anymore.
Rich explains why he tried to rock so hard.
Turns out he’s actually a good drummer.
Richie becomes the 6th member of Kids Incorporated.
Connie and Kid seem to have different ideas about snacking.
Riley introduces his latest invention (a computer that looks remarkably like a TV) named SAM.
Stacy is a bit confused about who SAM is supposed to be inspired by.
Being an invention of Riley’s, SAM doesn’t work very well.
When he does, though, it’s hilarious!
SAM does a little routine for the kids.
Amazingly, Riley has invented something that actually works!
The Kid decides to see if he can stump SAM.
SAM screws up Kids Inc’s rehearsal.
He wants to play all the instruments…and sing, too.
Now SAM’s taken over the whole show.
The kids are determined to take back their stage.
SAM explodes in a blaze of glory just as Riley enters (what is it with villains and big exits on all these kids’ shows?)
The kids have a hard time telling Riley that they can’t stand SAM. (long)
But how do they like SAM’s twin brother?
Well, don’t worry, he was also invented by Riley
Richie is aspiring to be the next classic director – complete with retro outfit.
As usual, Stacy doesn’t get it, but Ryan does.
Riley tries in vain to get into Richie’s video, but Richie has loftier (albeit unrealistic) goals.
Kid never has any trouble communicating.
One of Richie’s few good ideas – a video about Kids Inc. (long)
Uh oh…Kid and Richie together? This doesn’t bode well.
Richie gives out assignments (VERY LONG!)
Things start to unravel as Connie and Renee disagree about the script.
Ryan doesn’t seem interested in words, either.
And Stacy? She’d rather shop than read.
Kid is really into his role as producer.
The arguments take center stage as everyone wants to take over.
Kid attempts to calm everyone down – by shouting at them with a megaphone.
Richie gives up on his project.
The arguing finally gets to him.
Riley is still trying to be discovered.
For once, an invention of Riley’s would actually have been welcomed.
Stacy is confused again as Renee slowly gives us our plot.
Before she can celebrate, though, Ryan appears to do his own posturing.
The sides are drawn as the boys and the girls split up.
Hold on to this part; you’ll see everyone break their own rules later.
The kids really aren’t helping matters any, but no one seems to care.
Ryan’s story doesn’t seem to be getting off the ground.
Well…at least she’s written the truth…
But who wants truth when we can have zip, flash, pizzazz? (LONG)
Ryan’s story about South St. needs some rejuvenation, too. (LONG)
He begins playing Mad Libs with it. (LONG)
Everyone starts going overboard with their stories. (VERY LONG!)
Apparently the winner made up his story too.
But it’s in print, so it must be true.
Kid displays some unusual generosity towards Stacy.
It backfires as Stacy wins $100 by getting a malted (edited, otherwise it would be VERY LONG) .
Kid protests the definition of “customer” because it was his money.
Riley doesn’t help matters as he takes the money back and sends them to the stage.
Well, now they’re not talking after the dramatic declaration thingy (very popular on this show) .
Kid is late for rehearsal because he had to walk.
Stacy and Kid refuse to speak to one another and Richie picks up the slack (long, but worth it!) .
Ryan
ruins the joke They don’t need a
translator, just an attitude adjustment.
Connie attempts to get Riley to recount, but no, he’s positive they’re screwed.
Richie tries to solve the problem his way…by offering to take the money for himself.
Renee can’t get over the fact that Kid actually lent someone money.
Again, something trivial seems to have ruined the band and has both Stacy and Kid depressed.
Something Renee says gives Ryan an idea (that everybody else probably figured out a long time ago) .
I cut out the moral for you; it would be “add-oh-lessons” if it had been someone else saying it.
Uhh…I guess they did ‘cause here they are with a box and we had no explanation.
Aww, it’s an engraved trophy for Riley for selling all those malts.
Ooh, a bonus moral! I guess they didn’t want anyone fighting over the first one.