The first ever Kids Incorporated sound file database!
Here is where the sound files for all Kids Incorporated episodes will be, organized by season.
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Season
3 (1986)
Stacy
has a great answer…but it’s to the wrong question.
Ryan’s
idea to
“think positively” does not have the desired effect.
It’s
fun to goof
on Ryan…
because
sometimes you simply cannot understand a word he says.
Stacy
could be on her
way to OZ.
Riley’s
joke needs some help from the Wizard.
“This
isn’t Toto, Kansas!…this isn’t Topeka, Kansas!…this isn’t
working!”
Naturally,
she wins
Jeez,
gag me
with the moral, why don’t you?
Riley
claims to
be out of everything so he can get rid of the kids
…but
his
excuse doesn’t hold water.
He
has an
unusual attachment to a textbook.
Stacy
is a hologram.
Riley’s
sudden
departure
Stacy
can’t
do math, and she doesn’t want to get rid of her apples (hmm, maybe she
should have
gotten the part of the enchanted tree).
Gee,
I wonder
why Riley didn’t wake up…
Riley’s
how-to on working includes a bit on “sleeping on the job”.
The
“Two Hearts” poem (LONG)
Gloria
has the
reason for Riley’s behavior,
but
the kids have compiled their own reasoning (very long!).
“Maybe
you’re all losing your miiinds…"
The
kids finally
catch lovelorn agent Riley.
Unfortunately,
they are all wrong.
Riley
has been
going to night school.
Uh,
I would not
take her up on that, Riley.
“I
take it
back – you’re nuts, too.”
Riley’s
fantastic new invention that is sure to revolutionize…yeah, whatever.
Renee’s
too far out in space to hear the other kids.
Introducing
Jules
Stacy
is really
confused about what Renee’s going through.
Renee’s
been
repeating herself, says Stacy.
Everyone
is
finally on the same page as Renee’s notebook (very long!).
“He
loves
me, he loves me not…hi, guys…”
Stacy
and
The Kid know exactly what to do with this news.
Gloria
reveals
that she, too, had her own add-o-lessons.
Renee
doesn’t seem to like the moral of today’s episode.
Kid
thinks
Riley’s inventions require extra protection.
The
definition of
“a little silly”.
Renee
is
ready to go...hide!
The
entire
play-by-play of Renee’s dating game.
“The
suspense is
killing me!”
Shy
and
shyer…what a cute couple…
Gloria’s
choice of refreshment leaves everyone puzzled
the
Three D’s
brought
on by too
many adjustments in Gloria’s life
but
she’s not that
desperate!
Everyone’s
“usual”
sorry,
guys – no
breaks on the shakes
Gloria
keeps it fair while she’s on duty
“My
banana
split is leaking, Gloria!”
it’s
a
breeze to Gloria, but to Riley?
C’mon,
no place
can be that clean!
She’s
learned the "soda" part…now Gloria’s working on the "jerk"
The
rest of the kids
aren’t helping as Gloria spirals into a breakdown
Help
Wanted:
Moral
Gloria
realizes
she’s not Superwoman…yet.
Stacy
thinks Riley has thrown in a free gift with their order
Introducing
our guest star
John’s
matador story
seems to be a load of bull
He
pulls quite a snow
job on the kids
Ryan
begins to
get skeptical
The
truth is out
– Rounder doesn’t get around
John’s
next
story is a very sad one
John
finally
gets it
Riley’s
latest inventions have been of the mad scientist variety
Introducing
Sam
Praise
for Riley?
Couldn’t be our Riley…
Sam
sets the bar really
high
The
scam begins
Ryan
has it all
figured out already
He’s
ready to
take on Sam
one
of
Riley’s few practical inventions, the Pizza Flipper (with sound effects)
Ryan
can’t
resist a few quips
He’s
pretty
good at it, too
the
intro to
“That’s What Friends are For”
Reginald
von
Ryan pulls a scam of his own (VERY LONG!)
Sam
makes a successful
swindle
so
does Ryan
Riley
tries some
positive thinking with extra malt glasses
the
return of
Samantha
Samantha
brings her own
bookmobile with her
today’s
culture clash brought to you by Shakespeare
nobody
is delighted at
Samantha’s inspired idea
Kid
is really not
happy with the costuming
Samantha
is
oblivious to his jibes
“But
soft…who broke the window?”
Samantha
even speaks
Shakespearean when she’s upset
The
root of the
problem
How
many of the
Bard’s works can Samantha cram into 30 seconds?
Kid
has his own private
definition of “great”
You
knew there had
to be at least one hat joke
see
– Kid
DOES think of the rest of the band…as his backup
Now
playing in theaters
everywhere – The Ego that ate Chicago!
Kid
reminds Ryan of
Mozart
but
not for the reason Kid
chooses
“Oh
yes…do!”
What
nationality
is Ryan doing?? Is that supposed to be Italian?
Kid
Mozart charming the
ladies
“Wolfie’s”
dramatic laugh
Flattery
will get
you nowhere – especially if you’re giving it to yourself
“Come-a
back-a
tomorrow…”
Oh,
God, Ryan, shut
up!!!
Kid’s
an
egotistical genius
the
moral of
the episode, translated back into English
The
scoop on Renee
and Stacy’s birthdays
The
plot devices have
arrived, courtesy of Grandma
The
Perfect
Gift
Conveniently,
both girls are broke.
Renee
mopes about no
present for Stacy
Stacy
mopes about no
present for Renee
Again,
everyone has
the same idea
Two
plots collide
The
other kids
commiserate
“I
think you
mean oh, sisters!”
The
girls give
each other the gifts
This
plot is actually
borrowed from an old story (long)
And
we get the
perfect ending…
Renee
simply
can’t believe The Kid is studying
Stacy
got mad once
The
real reason Kid
is studying like mad
Brendan
Roberts
returns!
His
latest offer
isn’t very educated
Kid
seems tempted by
Brendan’s deal
Maybe
Kid has ADD
Here
come the Western
accents…some better than others…(long)
More
accents, and
our plot point (long)
Ain’t
no
sheriff in the West who can catch Kid the Kid
Kid
the Kid and
Wild Brendan meet in the jail cell
Wild
Brendan’s
moneymaking offer
Miz
Gloria stops
by with a little lesson
Too
late
– here comes the ball and chain
Kid
tells Brendan
off
The
rest of the kids
help
they
have no idea
what Kid was talking about, though
You’re
never gonna
guess…
Everyone
has
different ideas for the new baby’s name
Kid’s
is
the best one of all
Stacy
isn’t
happy about being promoted
Gloria
gives us our
first hint as to which way the episode’s going
Riley
helps
Welcome
to
Never-Never Land
There’s
just
gotta be a villain
and
his equally goofy
sidekick
It’s
a nice
place to visit, but the kids want to leave
Everyone
has
their own reasons for wanting to grow up
Moral-moral
time…
The
other kids
have no clue what Stacy’s talking about
until
they start
seeing things
The
kids are
arguing over why this is the worst episode
just
kidding –
they are fighting about all sorts of band matters
and
I mean REALLY
fighting
Someone
plays a
mean sax…but it isn’t The Kid
So,
who is it?
No,
Stacy, he sure
ain’t Santa Claus
It’s
EVIL!-ahem,
I mean Mr. Angel
Mr.
Blue
Jumpsuit Guy, what’s your line?
giving
rhyming
lessons, and it sure is fine! (No it’s not…HELP!!)
he’s
also a bit full of it
Great!
You made
Ryan play saxophone…but that was Kid’s job…
Don’t
encourage him, Gloria!
Mr.
Angel
sends for a bit of holy help
then
he flies
the coop before any parents can completely freak out
NO,
RENEE!!
DON’T DO IT!!! DON’T RHYME WITH HIM!!
the
evidence
conveniently disappears…but the damage has been done
The
kids show how
well they can read a flyer for a clown contest
Stacy
already
has a headstart on the competition
The
kids meet Henry
the Clown
Riley
does his best
to get Stacy to enter the contest
wanna
know why he
calls it Strawberry Surprise?
Henry
the Clown
breaks his silence
He
takes his turn
at the moral and offers his assistance
Henry
tells
Stacy the story of the handicapped clown (HUGE!)
the
contest begins
Gee,
I wonder who
could have won?
Our
clown is
really Henry Holden, motivational speaker
Kids
Inc is rocking in
the New Year
Riley
brings some bad
news
the
big blowout is
canceled
the
kids are pretty
peeved
there
is no
bright side to Riley’s bad inventions
but
there IS a
list of KI resolutions
Ryan’s
resolution
Renee’s
resolution…should have been to blow her nose! She was barely
understandable! (SUPER
LONG!)
The
Kid’s
resolution is no surprise to anyone
Gloria’s
resolution
Stacy’s
resolution
You
didn’t think this special would be without a moral, did you? (HUGE,
VERY SUPER LONG
FILE!)
The
kids resolve
to support Riley – and scare the crap out of him by running screaming
at him?
Riley
gets an apology
He
finds them a
new party spot
The
New Year’s
Eve countdown
Season 4 (1987)
The kids explain that Gloria is gone and make perspiration jokes
Kid arrives with the mail, which features a letter from Gloria and our backstory
There’s also a bonus note from somebody they should have avoided.
Auditions bring out all sorts of people – but no swimsuits (sorry, Riley)
Our celebrity claims to be fully equipped and is still anonymously impressive
A cute little someone’s enthusiasm for auditioning runneth over…oh, wait, that was her malt. (I edited out the blank spaces to make it shorter)
She continues to astound the kids with her spilling skills.
Thank goodness for our mysterious musician who is now “on his way”
Renee finds our little accident prone girl and inquires as to why she’s so nervous.
Connie performs her song and Kids Inc. accepts her into the fold…
…just as Rockin’ Rich finally arrives.
Unfortunately, he seems to be taking over.
The kids aren’t sure what to make of him.
Rich doesn’t appear to be as rockin’ as he claimed.
The kids don’t find him quite that stellar anymore.
Rich explains why he tried to rock so hard.
Turns out he’s actually a good drummer.
Richie becomes the 6th member of Kids Incorporated.
Connie and Kid seem to have different ideas about snacking.
Riley introduces his latest invention (a computer that looks remarkably like a TV) named SAM.
Stacy is a bit confused about who SAM is supposed to be inspired by.
Being an invention of Riley’s, SAM doesn’t work very well.
When he does, though, it’s hilarious!
SAM does a little routine for the kids.
Amazingly, Riley has invented something that actually works!
The Kid decides to see if he can stump SAM.
SAM screws up Kids Inc’s rehearsal.
He wants to play all the instruments…and sing, too.
Now SAM’s taken over the whole show.
The kids are determined to take back their stage.
SAM explodes in a blaze of glory just as Riley enters (what is it with villains and big exits on all these kids’ shows?)
The kids have a hard time telling Riley that they can’t stand SAM. (long)
But how do they like SAM’s twin brother?
Well, don’t worry, he was also invented by Riley
Richie is aspiring to be the next classic director – complete with retro outfit.
As usual, Stacy doesn’t get it, but Ryan does.
Riley tries in vain to get into Richie’s video, but Richie has loftier (albeit unrealistic) goals.
Kid never has any trouble communicating.
One of Richie’s few good ideas – a video about Kids Inc. (long)
Uh oh…Kid and Richie together? This doesn’t bode well.
Richie gives out assignments (VERY LONG!)
Things start to unravel as Connie and Renee disagree about the script.
Ryan doesn’t seem interested in words, either.
And Stacy? She’d rather shop than read.
Kid is really into his role as producer.
The arguments take center stage as everyone wants to take over.
Kid attempts to calm everyone down – by shouting at them with a megaphone.
Richie gives up on his project.
The arguing finally gets to him.
Riley is still trying to be discovered.
For once, an invention of Riley’s would actually have been welcomed.
Stacy is confused again as Renee slowly gives us our plot.
Before she can celebrate, though, Ryan appears to do his own posturing.
The sides are drawn as the boys and the girls split up.
Hold on to this part; you’ll see everyone break their own rules later.
The kids really aren’t helping matters any, but no one seems to care.
Ryan’s story doesn’t seem to be getting off the ground.
Well…at least she’s written the truth…
But who wants truth when we can have zip, flash, pizzazz? (LONG)
Ryan’s story about South St. needs some rejuvenation, too. (LONG)
He begins playing Mad Libs with it. (LONG)
Everyone starts going overboard with their stories. (VERY LONG!)
Apparently the winner made up his story too.
But it’s in print, so it must be true.
Kid displays some unusual generosity towards Stacy.
It backfires as Stacy wins $100 by getting a malted (edited, otherwise it would be VERY LONG) .
Kid protests the definition of “customer” because it was his money.
Riley doesn’t help matters as he takes the money back and sends them to the stage.
Well, now they’re not talking after the dramatic declaration thingy (very popular on this show) .
Kid is late for rehearsal because he had to walk.
Stacy and Kid refuse to speak to one another and Richie picks up the slack (long, but worth it!) .
Ryan
ruins the joke They
don’t need a
translator, just an attitude adjustment.
Connie attempts to get Riley to recount, but no, he’s positive they’re screwed.
Richie tries to solve the problem his way…by offering to take the money for himself.
Renee can’t get over the fact that Kid actually lent someone money.
Again, something trivial seems to have ruined the band and has both Stacy and Kid depressed.
Something Renee says gives Ryan an idea (that everybody else probably figured out a long time ago) .
I cut out the moral for you; it would be “add-oh-lessons” if it had been someone else saying it.
Uhh…I guess they did ‘cause here they are with a box and we had no explanation.
Aww, it’s an engraved trophy for Riley for selling all those malts.
Ooh, a bonus moral! I guess they didn’t want anyone fighting over the first one.
Of course he must be telling the truth…for once…
Unfortuately, Riley is the only one with an ugly coat, so no one believes him.
Kid sympathizes with Richie, but misses out on his resolution to stop exaggerating.
Who IS listening? A gorilla. No, seriously!
The kids are struggling to gain themselves some publicity.
They don’t need gorillas, though, so no thanks, Richie.
Even Kid is getting tired of sticking up for him.
Until everyone comes out with a radio bulletin that says a gorilla escaped from the zoo.
They’re actually sad they have to send the gorilla back to the zoo.
It almost seems more important than Richie finally learning his lesson.
But hey, they managed to get in the paper! Isn’t that just bananas?
Riley creates his own ice cream experiment for the occasion (in two parts).
No, this one’s actually real; I’m surprised they never used it before.
But the new comic, Kid the Playboy, is quickly shot down by the others.
Mine must’ve got lost in the mail…anyway, Renee has noticed that Stacy’s acting weird.
Big Sister to the Rescue! Gee, how could this possibly go wrong?
Anything “sure-fire” is sure to go up in flames.
Renee’s poetry is not inviting enough for Stacy.
Renee will be the one to read a humiliating rhyming poem.
(short) Stacy throws Renee’s own words back at her when she balks at being Cyrano.
Stacy pays a bit too much attention to Jason’s daily habits.
How come Stacy’s poem is longer and better than Renee the poet’s?
Apparently, Jason has never read Cyrano.
Stacy (somehow???) concludes Renee stole her date.
Ryan finds Stacy and she explains it to him.
He convinces her to fix it without an interpreter.
Stacy fixes things with Renee (that “oh” is where Renee turns around so fast as Stacy grabs her arm that she spills her soda. You can see her examine her fingers and then brush it on her skirt!).
Stacy has fixed things with Jason as well.
Unfortunately for Kid, he hedged his bets too much and now he has no date.
Jason really isn’t so swift, is he?
(short) “Older women?!?!?”
Kid
has a plan for getting a good burger out of Riley.
Unfortunately,
Riley doesn’t have any good burgers – he has “Burgers Romanov”
The
girls are excited about the Russian Ballet.
The boys? Not
so much.
Renee
manages to compare it to basketball, but it still doesn’t score with
the boys (LONG!)
Ryan’s
hoping to score, though, with a new girl at the counter.
Too
bad her taste in burgers is a bit odd.
Guess
who’s suddenly an avid ballet fan?
The
kids are confused when Ryan suddenly starts speaking Russian.
It’s
as if Kid’s joke is in another language.
Kid
tries to get Ryan to see the error in his international relations
Sadly,
he is right – Katrina’s leaving.
She
gets Ryan to imagine himself in her ballet slippers and realize
emigration is a bad idea.
Another
translation of the moral
If
Kid goes to Russia, he’s bringing his own food!
The
kids are excited to see Patti LaBelle…but Kid isn’t excited for the
opening act.
He blasts away the idea of going to the
concert.
Unbeknownst to the others, Kid already
knows Billy Blaster. (Sorry my audio file is messed
up!)
Billy left Kid 5 years ago and hasn’t
spoken to him since. (LONG! I cut out the girls’
joke)
Even Renee and Stacy haven’t been
estranged for that long!
Kid’s unofficial family tries to comfort him.
Renee confronts an unsuspecting Billy
at the toy store
and blasts him with the revelation that
she’s there for The Kid.
She appeals to him as an older sibling and
urges Billy to see Kid.
Kid, meanwhile, is similarly struggling.
The brothers finally confront one another
in The P*lace.
Kid demands to know just where Billy
blasted off to.
Billy explains that he felt pressured by
their father, and couldn’t take it.
He’s proud to see that Kid hasn’t
suffered the same fate.
Billy and The Kid, together again.