Despite her brutish friends, Slave Gloria actually made it to Level 2. Yes, this is the Kitty Level. I only made it up because it’s ridiculously fun to watch. I’ve never spoken in Kitty Voice in my life – but then again, it is my society. It just tickles me the lengths these girls will go to in order to become an Angel! Meow, meow! Ha, ha, ha! Rule Number Two: You are an Angel twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Never forget your Angel oath.

I’ll be honest with you; I’ve never understood Slave Gloria’s appeal. Yes, she’s…not altogether homely. Reasonably intelligent for someone of her stature. But she has that annoying tendency to sympathize with the downtrodden. Those friends of hers – they’re not even her age! Angels don’t babysit unless they are getting paid! I have no patience for anyone who doesn’t know enough to stand in the presence of an Angel. Not that I care what their names are, but they didn’t even have the decency to introduce themselves. Manners, anyone? They sit slumped in their chairs, scowling. Slave Gloria is obviously the most civilized out of all of them – and that is not saying very much.

The entire reason I decided to initiate Slave Gloria is because as you may know, several members of the school administration are voicing their complaints that The Angels are elitist. Well, of course we’re elitist! What good is a society if you can’t keep some people out? They seem to forget all the good The Angels do for the school and the community. We have single–handedly raised the popularity of this school by at least 25% - and we take beautiful class pictures. Isn’t that important? But Slave Gloria has an oddly enormous following, and admitting her into The Angels will surely show everyone that we are not biased. We simply have standards that are higher than the majority of the student body.

Rule Number Three: No one, simply NO ONE insults the president of The Angels! I had half a mind to strip Slave Gloria of all her points as she just stood there slack-jawed while those barbarians shouted crude insults at me. She even neglected to wear her Kitty Level uniform! The nerve! An Angel is always prepared for inspection. We have to set an example for the rest of the school to follow.

That little snot-nosed Stacy will be very sorry once she comes of age and is promptly shunned by our society. Remember this, ladies – a foul mouth will negate any beauty. No one threatens physical violence to an Angel! I can guarantee you that she’ll never become one of us. I think I’m going to start looking into some of the girls in her grade level. Rule Number Four: start your Angel training early!

And that one they call “The Kid”. He doesn’t even have a proper name! Not like mine…have I told you that the Von Brons have been at the head of society for at least eight generations? Well, I’ll tell you again – if you’re very good. Now where was I? Oh, yes – civilized people do not go around talking about vomit! Nor do they dress like that. Perhaps we should have a male chapter so we can shun him as well.

If these people – and I use that term loosely – actually cared about Slave Gloria at all, they’d realize that becoming an Angel is the best possible thing that could happen to her. It would raise her above the lifestyle she’s been subjected to and introduce wonderful possibilities, like associating with me.

Now, every Angel knows that there will always be some sort of interference from the common people. As your president, I have always implemented the most brilliant methods for dealing with these annoyances. I had such a plan in mind for Slave Gloria’s companions – WHY DO I HEAR SNICKERING? Ahem! I have to admit, I was rather pleased with Slave Gloria’s willingness to devote herself to The Angels, and this was to be her final test. Trust me, Stacy and The Kid were getting off easy. I wanted to send a message to everyone that no one messes with The Angels, while at the same time demonstrating the superior effectiveness of my revenge. I do so love revenge.

Never let it be said that Gabriella Von Bron is not worldly. You see, I’ve researched lowbrow society, and people of that sort tend to think that over the top comedic devices such as cream pies and seltzer are hilariously funny. While I am not one for ruining good clothes, I have yet to see any of Slave Gloria’s friends wear good clothing – and that goes double for those hideously garish outfits. She’d be doing them a favor by defacing them. Honestly, it’s not as if it was going to hurt! They fully deserve whatever happens to them for being rude to me. It would have been the perfect revenge.