Introducing: Riley is involved with a Miss Cantwell – but on an academic level

I suppose it’s the writer in me that wants to know more about Riley. There's never much backstory about the man, other than the fact that he has like a zillion cousins, and this episode provides more questions than it does answers.

Kids Inc. does a great number and would like some refreshments, but Riley seems too preoccupied to serve them anything – even some water. Ryan finds a computer science textbook on the counter and Riley strangely refuses to let him borrow it, under the pretense that “the owner might come back, and he might wanna read it”. Before anyone can wonder what he’s up to, he zooms onto the stage and introduces them. When the number is over, he claims he has to go and hands Ryan the keys to The P*lace.

When they’re not ruminating about Riley, Stacy and Gloria end up in the storeroom. Seems Stacy has a few issues with math, so Gloria volunteers to help her out. They discover Riley asleep in the back, amid furious scribblings. He rushes off and leaves behind a cryptic (but conveniently lyrical) poem. Stacy turns up her nose, and Gloria turns up the music as she tries to decipher just who “Miss Cantwell” is.

Gloria’s not the only one with tantalizing papers. The rest of the kids have collectively formed an inquiry into Riley’s behavior and have decided that Riley must be a spy.

They have a list of state capitals, papers with “some sort of code”, the White House, and a model of an enemy battleship.

Despite this damning evidence, Gloria still insists that Riley is in love. The only thing everyone can agree on is that they need to spy on Riley.


Surely, Riley knows that the jig is up, because he’s very guilt-ridden coming out of the school auditorium. Kids Inc. catches him, and since they are not very good counterspies, they tip their hand and reveal that they’re on to his espionage. Well, all except Gloria – she knows the person he’s seeing is his girlfriend.

Riley blows the lid off the investigation himself by declaring that no, he’s not in love, and he’s not a spy – he’s a student. He’s going to night school to get a high school diploma (which we figured out already). He was afraid the kids would think less of him if they thought he was uneducated (which of course they don’t). Stacy volunteers to help him with his homework (which he would be wise not to take her up on).


I gave this episode 3.5 mics because it’s not like Ryan or Gloria to not be able to connect the dots. Gloria shouldn’t be helping Stacy with math if she can’t put two and two together herself, and Ryan ought to be able to recognize Algebra since he’s read every book there ever was. Plus, most of the kids have known Riley for 3 years – does he really seem like the spy type? He can’t even get an invention off the ground!

Oh, and I just love how thoroughly Gloria tries to wake Riley:

*barely touches him* "Riley...Riley...I can't wake him."

Amazingly, he manages to sleep through all of that! Still, the dialogue makes this episode enjoyable and cute.

“I take it back – you’re nuts, too.”

Gloria: “Say you have 6 apples, and I take 2/3 of that, what will you have?"
Stacy: “Hunger pains?”

The music really saves this episode, especially the last half.


Guest star:--

Invention count: 0 this episode
in total: 7

Vocab: --

Continuity, gags and themes:
Stacy being the dumb blonde
Ryan being the nerd

New Locations: There’s a high school that offers night classes

Pop culture references:
The White House
The ship that Ryan is holding, number 212, doesn't appear to exist.

Solos:
Gloria (2) = 52
Ryan (1) = 14
Renee (1) = 25
Episode Total: 4
Total: 171

Performance outfits: The black set for the second time (see previous review)
White gloves for the “Sidewalk Talk” number

- Stacy’s worst subject seems to be Math
- Riley dropped out of high school at some point in his past
- Courses offered at night school include English, Algebra, U.S. History, and Computer Science


Songs:
Sidewalk Talk –
Rock Around the Clock –  
It’s a Mystery –
Secret –
No Looking Back –

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